Thursday, January 19, 2006

electrically speaking

I am electric hot. If there is such a word. Not in the physically seductive sense. It's just that I get electric shocks all the time. From the most unassuming of things.

As a kid, I had a tough time, when any electrical appliance I touched was enough to raise my hair. I would heat the iron for a quick smoothening of creases and jerk back as soon as I touch the iron. The electric oven was another monster. Even simple lamps and bulbs gave me a shock.

So I gave up ironing. And cooking too was out of bounds for some time. More so because I got burnt a lot. I still light my gas stove with a matchstick. Because using a lighter sends currents through my body.

Then it got worse as current flowed out of door handles, TV screen, computer keyboard, just about anything. Initially my husband got a thrill getting me to touch his musical keyboard. He would take my forefinger and without warning keep it on one edge of the keyboard. And I would shriek. He thought I was doing it for kicks but later realised I was serious when I screamed like mad.

Then it got to people. I started getting shocks when I touched people or anyone touched me. Sometimes in between bouts of romantic notions, I would quietly creep up on the husband when he was playing and wrap my arms around him only to be shocked. I, of electric current types and he, normal scared types. And I would yelp. And he would yelp. "NEVER do that again!!!"

It was a problem in office. A colleage would tap me or gently touch me, and I would bolt back, prompting them to say, "sorry, didn't mean to startle you" and look at me oddly. Sometimes I tried explaining, "Nonono! This current passed when you touched me!" Only to be mocked, "Oh, didn't know I had that effect on you." First people were amused then I suppose it got tiresome. They thought I had gone loony.

Then for some time, things got better. The nervewhecking feeling was not so frequent. And I wondered if I was saved a death by electrocution.

But of late, it's back. And I suffer most in the gym. The treadmill seems to be getting a sadistic pleasure out of seeing me swing my hands wildly whenever I punch the speed increase button or downward button. The other women around think I am trying some new stunt. Weirdly even the rubber wrapped handles give me a shock. I keep my towel over it and then slowly get my hand on it. I tried confiding in a seriously-gymming-woman, hoping she feels the same. She smiled sweetly and I knew, if I ever came up in their conversations, I would be branded a nutcase.

The only pleasure I get is out of the vibrator*. I have long given it up myself. It anyways made me feel like 100 watts of voltage was passing through me. But I love to watch the others. A sight, I tell you, sure makes up for the electrifying shocks I had been suffering all these years. These women look like they are on the electric chair. Only there is no chair and they try to keep a straight face as every part of the body is violently jiggled. They actually queue up for the torture and derive a strange satiated kind of satisfaction as they wind up their routine with the vibrator. And watching them, I tell myself, the contraption has been aptly named.

*Edited to crush illicit thoughts - By vibrator, I mean a menacing machine at the gym, which has a wide belt and once strapped on, does some powerful pummelling to the body.

37 Comments:

Blogger Cute Indian Girl said...

Hey! Nice Blogging. Just Liked it very much. Adding to my bookmark. I will check it very often.

Indian Girl

5:02 PM  
Blogger Shruthi said...

Hey that was really funny :) I am also slightly electrically-challenged, so I know how u feel! :) Especially at my prev place of work, if I sat down on a chair that someone has been sitting on, I would spring up sky high. And everybody would laugh at me. :( Even now, if anybody suspect's electric current leakage in any machine, they say, call Shruthi, she will know. Sigh! :(

5:33 PM  
Blogger Arz000n said...

I started getting shocks when I touched people or anyone touched me.
I get these a lot when Im wearing Lee Coopers...coz of high static energy stored inside me...I think its somewhere stored on ma finger tips...

Nice "charged" memories you have lady :)

5:58 PM  
Anonymous winterblues said...

hey anumita, enjoy reading your blogs! And I used to suffer from static all the time and this is what I do now. Hope the link works:
http://www.school-for-champions.com/science/staticcont.htm

If not, let me know & I can type it out :)) I hate static!!!!

8:14 PM  
Anonymous winterblues said...

Get rid of static...hope this helps! Here goes:

1. Static electricity is more active when the air and materials are dry.One thing you can do is to use a humidifier to raise the humidity in the house

2. Some people have very dry skin that may cause the buildup of static charges, especially in the winter. One thing to try is to use moisturizers or lotions on your skin & conditioner on hair.

3.If your pajamas and bed sheets are the type of materials that create static electricity when rubbed together, you can be bothered with shocks all night long on a dry winter night. If you have dry skin, the problem can be amplified.

Try using pajamas and/or sheets made of different materials. Cotton does not seem to develop as much static electricity as some artificial fibers.

4.Another idea is to use a metal object like a key and touch other metal things first with key. This will cause the spark to fly from the key and not your finger. That is much more comfortable. You can also use a ring or even a thimble to move the shock from your finger to the metal object.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Ashish Gupta said...

:O :O :O

rightly put by winterblues about static thing! it must be kinda frightening to touch things at times, eh? :-(

//The only pleasure I get is out of the vibrator
now this is something :D *stupid grin*

8:40 PM  
Blogger Truth Fairy said...

Hey, came here after a while. :) Oh man! I hate static! I get that all the time too. From almost anyone or anything. My co-workers and friends get a kick out of it. It's worse during winter coz the air's so dry and so are you. Fleece worsens the situation and so does lambswool. One way to avoid it is always keeping your hands extra-moisturized. Baby oil or almond oil works better than creams/lotions. And of course, drinking lots of water!

My worst nightmare is when I get down from my car. So I keep a small tube of hand cream in my pocket all the time. I apply that to my hands before I get down. That really works wonders.

One more way of getting rid of static is to ground yourself while working or sleeping. You get anti-static wrist bands with a grounding wire. You also get a wireless one these days. Try them.

Hope it works. :)

8:40 PM  
Blogger shub said...

lol!!! :)) not laughin at u but the "The only pleasure I get is out of the vibrator" to say I was mildly 'shocked' until I got the meaning would be a major understatement :D i bet tahtz what brought that Indiangal to ur blog! :))

8:53 PM  
Blogger monk15ad said...

I cant believe you use a Vibrator! Just kidding, but read what you wrote will make ppl wonder...

9:28 PM  
Blogger Atul Sabnis said...

shocking! to say the least; and i am not referring to the edit

:-P

11:26 PM  
Blogger Stone said...

and I thought I'm the only one, i too get shock all the time, door handles, car doors, water-taps etc.

Once a friend got a huge blister on his hand just coz he tried to shake hand with me :-) , he still carries that scare :-)

1:27 AM  
Blogger Under the Spell said...

My husband belongs to your clan. He jumps up a few feet everytime he touches anything in the house, including me. Though i would love to say i'm glad i have that effect on him after a few years of marriage, it's begun to rankle me especially this winter. He's got grounded with a few of those really strong ones, so now he's moving around with his house keys in his hand, EVERYWHERE he goes..and I can tell you it's not fun when you husband has to turn the key on you each time before he touches you!!

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Ash said...

Ouch, i've never heard of static problems that bad !

Hope you're doing well. Wish you and the hubby a Happy New Year.

3:27 AM  
Blogger Atul Sabnis said...

here's another shock! you have been tagged!!!

6:18 AM  
Blogger Gangadhar said...

Oh my..you too joined in this shocking club?

10:35 AM  
Blogger Rat said...

Oh my god !!! thats sounds so bizzare. Must been quite annoying no.

Hahaha @ the vibrator explaination.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have 'magnetic' issues...attract vehicles into hiting me.
Looks like my colleague has same issues as u..will let her know shes not the only one.
All the best though!!

jo

12:35 PM  
Blogger Parna said...

first of all Vibrator! yeah yeah i know there was a disclaimer and all that....*grins*

wokay! i get these electrical charges specially during winter and since i have long hair, it stands up :( and makes me look weird and funny. but the cake was taken a couple of weeks back by darling hubby when he put his hand on my tushie *By Mistake* and got a jolt :)) had me cracking up.

1:00 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

shruthi: I can so relate to you!

arz000n: Lee cooper? Now that's a new one! Maybe you can sue them?

winterblues: Thanks a ton. Will try to follow your advice.
1. Dont know what is a humidifier and if we need it in Bombay.
2. Yup, admit have dry skin but skin is never naked. Always massaged with olive oil before showering and layered with heaps of creams and moisturizers after.
3. Use only 100% cotton.
4. Will start using key. Thanks for the tip. Lockless keys lying around the house will have some use now.

ashish: It is believe me. Am so wary while jogging now. Makes me look senile.

truth fairy: Thakns for the tips. Use baby oil. Will start with almond oil and carrying a key now. :) The wrist bands sound divine. Have to hunt for them now.

shub: Please dont laugh while I suffer. I have offered a disclaimer now ;)

monk15ad: So I realised hence the asterix.

atul: Plese dont make fun. If I could pass it on to you, I would. Just for a taste. *wicked smile*

stone: Tell me you are kidding! Blister? Holy cow!!

under the spell: Hehehe! That must be a hilarious sight! But can imagine how annoying it must be for you. I think I ll try that.

ash: Thanks Ash. And really good to have you back.

atul: I hate tags. Feels like school assignments! Okay will try.

ganga: Yes. I can be nominated president.

rat: Bizzare yes, annoying yes. On top of that I have to deal with being called loony!

jo: Now that's dangerous! I dont know if your case is worse or mine.

parna: When you come here, I will take you to see the vibrator with the ladies on it. Aha! Am sure intentions weren't honorable so hubby got the jhatka. He will learn to treat it with respect now! Hehehe!!

1:56 PM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

Ahh.. I have always had static problems..but they mostly happen in winters and when things get too dry.. but definitely no ppl current for me except from my ex :p but then all that was "chemistry" :) ..

3:37 PM  
Blogger Chakra Sampath said...

shocking indeed!

lol at your disclaimer on vibrator thingy! :)

5:08 PM  
Blogger Abhishek said...

Tell u what...
this "shock" thing happens to me @ the college cann teen ka wash basin.
i still tell some friend of mine to put on the wash basin ka tap.
n this thing is true with the treadmill too....its had something to do with that grey Tshirt i for in the gym...
Anyways....goo u mention abt that vibrator stuff with a * mark....
cuz me being a college being "KID" it did give me wrong ideas for a moment..:):)

5:43 PM  
Blogger Noojes said...

You must have frizzy hair...

noojes

6:09 PM  
Anonymous winterblues said...

hey anumita, I am glad to know I helped cos i haven't had this problem after following the advice and it has been life-changing to say the least, ha ha ha...if you have been slathered by all kinds of oils, then I am willing to bet that it is something that you wear that is causing it. I had to get rid of my favorite blue fleece jacket and winter cap last year:(( I did have the problem in Bombay and last year in NYC but not so this year. And no, I don't think you need a humidifier(just a device which spouts mist) or fleece in Bombay!! Sorry to harp but just a last note since static can be dangerous: do shake out clothes, esp track pants, after they are dry to get rid of static...and happy bihu!

9:00 PM  
Blogger Kapil said...

Welcome to the team of "shockers". I hate it - I can't even sit on my laptop comfortably. It has a bloody steel finish and keeps giving me these dirty shocks and then my colleagues go "Not again".

10:17 PM  
Anonymous pallavi said...

hahahI was just going to catch you on the vibrator thingy buhahahah !!!

By theway that happens to me when I wear certain kind of shoes where any metal thing I touch and then even shake hands there is this ZAP..

Static electricity.. they say.. :)

10:41 PM  
Blogger transience said...

i laughed and laughed at this, anumita.

6:20 PM  
Anonymous amitken said...

I know how you feel.. I get these shocks too, though not too often, but when it starts it stays for a week or so.

Some positive charge i tell you.
:o)

6:55 PM  
Blogger Akruti said...

God,that must be really tough,I do get such shocks,but rarely.
*Vibrator* EDIT,hahahaha.

9:02 PM  
Blogger hope and love said...

lol..!
luckily i dont hav this problem..
:))

7:11 PM  
Blogger kaushik said...

winterblues said rightly in details. Just keep urself moisterized thats the only solution.

10:28 PM  
Blogger Sachin said...

Hi, I just happened to come upon your blog when I was looking for info on Dominica Resort at Manori (you've mentioned your outing in a post). I think you write very well!

Also, thank you - after having hummed & hawed a lot regarding starting a blog of my own, reading some of your posts gave me the "electric charge" I needed to finally begin. Take care & happy blogging! (Making ur blog a bookmark if thats ok)

10:00 AM  
Blogger Raccoon said...

haha!yeah maybe you should go around with a lightening conductor attached, trailing on the ground behind you...:-P

I was recently the victim of an electric pen joke - and that sure buzzed me up like anything!

And apparently the other ladies enjoy using the *vibrator* as much as you enjoy watching it...more 'power' to them and you!:-)

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Melody said...

Anumita, there's a Mumbai Blogger Meet up on Tues 31st Jan; details on my blog. Do try & make it!

(Also if you can do a post on it yourself, would be good!)

4:18 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

abhishek: You can pick some free advice from the comments itself on how to avoid it if it still happens.

noojes: Now I know why my otherwise straight hair looks like this!!!

winterblues: Thanks a ton for your advice. I am following it all.

Kapil: Thankfully laptop is not being nasty. Would have cried it 'shocked' me!

pallavi: Shoes? Hehehe! You can go and touch all the ones you want to shake up!

transience: What about you? Never felt this?

amitken: Glad you understand!

akruti: Yes, awful. Please offer some sympathy.

hope n love: You don't know how lucky you are!

kaushik: Thanks. Am doing that.

sachin: Welcome and thanks. I used to wonder who comes to my blog after googling for Manoribel every time... Hey, congrats on starting to blog.

pranav: Electric pen sounds good. Maybe I should get it to introduce shocks to some nonbelievers.

melody: I have put it up.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Swathi said...

so finally i have a big backlog of blogs to catch up....

so u seem to be a factory of static electricity :))

8:49 PM  
Blogger jaygee said...

You got my hopes up when u said vibrators!! but on another related note.. this winter in delhi, in my office, I gave off the most statis causing people to get startled when tried to startle me instead!!!

4:44 PM  

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