Smell of yesterday's dust

It had stopped raining and the evening looked beautiful. Cool and clean as I walked down the little lane near my house. The cluster of little wet houses with a few people leisurely taking a walk and two little children running after each other was delightful. It suddenly took me back to a long time ago. I was surprised how two days can be so connected. Different times different eras. And it struck me why living here brings me a strange peace. Childhood tugs at my heart. A glimpse of a time gone.

As a child, all I wanted was to get out of that little town, live in faraway lands, eat different food, lead a different life. Now I am doing exactly that.

And yet. Life has come a full circle. I savour every bit of nostalgia. I treasure every memory and try to relive it. I find comfort in the simple food of yesteryears. I am most comfortable with early mornings, a childhood habit. And the rains, they have some amazing memories.

What is it? Age? That makes one look back so much? Are we done with creating memories and now just look at re-living them... or is it a content life... we need nothing more...

Really!

Where the answers were blowing in the wind...

Parthenon


Apollo Temple and Oracle at Delphi


Ampitheatre at Acropolis


Monastery at Meteora


Street shopping, Athens


The Acropolis in Athen at night


Serving a gyro with a smile!

I didn't really believe the Greek guide when she pointed out a road far out in the valley. There was a crossroad too. Legend has it, she said, that Oedipus killed his father Laius, King of Thebes, just after the crossroad there.

And at Delphi, the place still felt so sacred. One could almost feel the power of the Oracle and the prophesies. This was the place responsible for changing the fate of man and nations alike in the olden days. I stood before the pillars that were the entrance to the Oracle and thought of anything that I may need the answer to... zilch! Why do I blank out at these times?!!

Beautiful people, beautiful places and amazing food. Life moved at an easy pace, with music, laughter, gyros, late nights and the acropolis towering over Athens. And then we went over to Turkey.

Bakhlava, kebabs, the majestic mosques and their beautiful minerets. We walked by the seaside, we crossed over to the Asian side and walked lanes and lanes of beautiful Turkish life. We got onto the Bosphorus cruise and at night checked out the amazing night life. But the most amazing thing was the sight of the sacred relics - the walking stick of Moses (yes, the one that parted the Red Sea!), Abraham's turban, the skull of John the Baptist, Prophet Mohammad's hair, his footprint on the famous stone, a handwritten letter by him...!!! I stared at it all spellbound.

And so another holiday ended. But it felt good to get back and get down to things I had lined up. Painting the house, making a few changes... something I had been wanting to do for the last 4-5 years. Changes that I need to take me to the next phase.

a fool's paradise

Only fools quit their jobs and go holidaying in Greece. One day, it struck me that I shall be rushing to work every morning and coming back late every night and it will go on and on for years till I die. So I straightened my broken back and walked in to tell my gem-of-a-boss that I wished to leave. He gave me a world of options that I didn't deserve, to go on working. I was tempted but thinking again I realized it wouldn't be fair to look at options of working less when I still have so much to learn. So I did the unthinkable in these recessionary times.

Please refrain from thinking this time will be used only for leisures and pleasures. It'll also be devoted to strengthening the weak back, the one I cannot even sit straight with or stand or sleep. There is a constant pain that nags all the time. So I shall pay heed to "health is wealth" and concentrate on being ultra fit and able to run the marathon in Houston next year.

Till then I am off to explore a little corner of the world, Greece, with a few days in Turkey on my way back. Coming, anyone?

choose your colours and paint the rainbow

Sometimes things are so impossibly beautiful that it gets difficult to accept them. Today is one such day. Perfect.

Fluffy clouds intermittently hide a blue sky, letting the sun play peek-a-boo. I get up and survey the mess in the house. Without a maid, it's getting difficult to maintain a squeaky clean home. Last night’s dinner mats are still lying on the dining table. The kitchen sink is half full of dirty dishes. The sunlight is passing through the green beaded curtain and each bead is looking like a jewel.

I get down to clearing the mess and cooking some food. And as any manic Monday requires I am rushing through breakfast, grabbing my keys and am in the car for the long drive to work. Driving to work is a tricky thing now. While some days I make it comfortably and walk in smiling at everyone, there are days when the tall glasses of water and juices I have in the mornings catch up with me. I pray for traffic to disappear and my bladder to hold. But on an over-one-hour drive, prayers need miracles too.

The now familiar roads allow the luxury of observation. The fiery gulmohurs along a stretch, the rows of streetlights aligned neatly when I drive on the extreme right. A little change in the road position and the alignment changes! And then the weather, oh, so beautiful! I love it that every day is different. I long to go with the changes... why should I be doing the same thing when everything else changes, when seasons too change...?

Shouldn't I have filled up my life when I am ready to exit this world? Forget the bladder, the backpain is getting serious. I need to take care of it, heal it once and for all. Or maybe I should just try and do other things and have the backpain disappear on its own. That's what happened the last time.

For now, the pleasure is in this gorgeous day and towards different planes ahead.

I have no idea...

...when I went from hearing about my mom’s back problems to having my own.

Oh, to be old and happy!

It's a beautiful morning. As day breaks with bright orange and purple slivers bursting through and the sky takes on a magical form, I set out for the park. The roads look peaceful and the few early risers are walking unhurriedly.

It's good to see the increasing number of people getting health conscious and making an effort to begin their day with some exercise, with a little time to themselves. All kinds turn up, some in interesting gear. There are some who catch up and chat about everything under the sun.

I watch the group of 4 elderly men who come everyday and have a ball. One is missing, usually 5 come. They come together, walk together and chat and laugh loudly. Well deserved retired life. Suddenly, an elderly man, the missing 5th, catches up with them and greets them.

"Huh?" They all look at him in surprise. "Why are you greeting us?"

"Because I am meeting you." He proffers and laughs loudly.

"But we had come together from home!" One said.

"No, I didn't come with you all today. I was late. Didn't you even notice?" the gentleman is a little upset now.

"Well... yes... no..." there was a bit of awkwardness.

I passed them and jogged on. While the incident was really cute and funny with white haired grandpas wondering how to put things right, I wondered how it was so important to have friends at this age. Their life seemed perfect, at least their mornings. At the rate I am going, I'll have no friends. Well, none to walk with in the mornings, none to chat up at parks and worst of all, even if I managed some friends, I will probably forget them when we have a group walk or a movie to catch.

And then there will be many a jogger evesdropping on our little sulking arguments and making fun of it on their blogs!

Deliver me from reasons why...

Perhaps. Is there a reason for every season?

I look at myself in the mirror after running an eye pencil over my eyes. It seems like my face has changed. I observe the contours closely. I am growing older, the thought struck me. Going by a normal life span... how much longer? Another 30-35 years?

Enough time for anything that I may want to do, to achieve, to live the way I want. I take my mind back to the past few decades. Some bit is blank, some memories shine. A particular childhood thought springs. I wanted to grow up and live with a horse and a dog in a little house on the hills. I smile thinking how far I am from that. I don’t even think I will survive if someone were to grant me this childhood wish.

There is much that is common between my growing up years and now. I enjoy my own company. I don't make any particular effort to touch base with people and don't think about it much. It's like I am walking down a path and seeking freshness in the familiarity. I meet others crossing my path and am glad to see them. I also see others taking other parallel roads. I may wave out to them if they look my way but I will not go over and chat up with them.

I know it's not the right attitude. But this was how I was as a child and this is how I am afraid I am becoming. Sometimes I alienate myself from the family, the husband too. With him there is so much I have to talk, narrate, discuss but I don't get down to it because comfort lies in the silence. I get used to it. There was a word my friends used for me. Moody. I don't know if it's to do with moods. It's much more. For I am not unhappy or upset. I am just silent and it's beautiful. I have enough conversations inside my head.

And when the time comes, will I be wondering if I should have done anything differently? Perhaps.