Saturday, July 29, 2006

Some more Steam Engine banter

10 years back.

Steam Engine comes looking for me "Let's go to Vama's. There's a sale on at Benneton's."

"I don't want anything. I don't want to go."

"Hey, come with me. I want to buy a t-shirt. "

"So go."

"But you know more about t-shirts. You wear them all the time. "

"Yes. So?"

"Come and help me choose. I can't decide on my own."

"Ufff... okay."

At the shop, Steam Engine flits from rack to rack and holds several tees against her chest in front of the mirror.

"Hey, tell me, what do you like?"

"This one's smart. You'll look good."

"I don't like it. What do you think of this one?"

"Okay, but the neck doesn't suit you."

"Hmmm..., and this?"

"It's so transparent! I can even see the lace on your bra! Leave it. Check this one."

"Hmmm... but I like it."

"Listen you can't wear such transparent t-shirts and jump about in local trains and buses!!"

"Okay, I will wear a bra without lace."

"Don't act smart! You can't take it."

"Don't tell me what I can buy and what I can't!"

By this time decibel levels were rising alarmingly.

"You got me to help you choose and I am not letting you buy that slutty thing!"

"You shut up! What do you know about t-shirts!!"

"WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT T-SHIRTS?!! Fine! Do your own bloody shopping! I am going!" I stormed out lest I did something heavenly like strangling her there and then.

Later, Steam Engine comes back and tells the rest of the gang about the whole episode. "What do you know about t-shirts?" She shouts across at me and laughs like a hyena. And for a month after that even though I avoided Steam Engine and didn't talk to her, she kept repeating the same story to everyone in front of me and kept on laughing. Till. Till something major distracted her - she broke her leg. But that, of course, is another story.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Steam Engine banter

Steam Engine (SE) came over to spend the night.

I had SMSed her. "If you don't mind eating leftovers, come over. There's a grand spread."

Suddenly I saw a vision of SE sitting on the floor in front of my cupboard, cruelly pulling out ironed tops and kurtas. Rendering my cupboard unrecognizable.

A hasty SMS followed. "I hope you have a change. My sexy clothes will not fit your oversized bulk."

SE immediately called as expected. "Who are you calling oversized, smartie? I am fitter than you and I am going to wear your clothes to office tomorrow!!"

An hour later, SE stands ourside my door and calls me, "Hey, I am in the wrong place, reached the 8th floor. Which floor are you on?" I open the door and let her in.

"Leave those dirty sandals out."

"You sure? They are really expensive."

"Yes, yes, nobody steals such grimy sandals even if they are reeboks."

"Aaaahhh, I am so tired!!"

"God, you have gotten so fat, SE!"

"Have I now?"

"I notice your weight is always proportionate to your salary... what's that plastic you are dragging?"

"Dirty clothes... last night I spent the night at a colleague's place after finishing work at 2.30am."

"So did you finish your story?"

"No, none of the gigolos were picked up. So we finally went home, tired and sleepy. I am heading for a shower."

"Okay, give me all your dirty clothes... I will put them in the machine. You can iron and wear them to work tomorrow."

SE enters my bedroom and starts stripping.

"Give me a fresh towel. Do you have some good shampoo?"

"Hey, use the other bathroom."

"No, I am fine here."

"Huh! See, you won't be comfortable. It's wet. All our stuff is there."

"Good. Listen I have used this bathroom before. I am okay... wow, my favourite shampoo!"

In the morning, I go to the gym, get back, shower, let in my maid, clean up a bit, read the papers, grill sandwiches, squeeze juice and go to check on SE. She was snoring like a lion. By this time, hubby is showered and ready. And we eat a leisurely breakfast.

"Can you wake her up? I need to work now." (The guest room doubles up as working studio during the day.)

I open her door and holler, "Steam Engine!!! Wake up!! Dont you have to go to work? It's 10 o'clock."



"Why you screaming? I am awake."

As SE roams around like a zombie with an iron in her hand and heading for the bathroom door, the maid quips, "I am making tea."

"Half a cup for me too please." requests the hubby.

"What about you SE? You want some tea?"


"Have some."


"Are you sure? Don't want a cup?"

"Is she making tea?"


"Okay. Half a cup for me then." Announcing which she goes in for a long bath.

SE is bathed and eating hot grilled sandwiches with lukewarm tea.

"Wow! Lovely! Is there any more tea?"

"No. But she can make you some if you want."

"No. Forget it."

After 5 minutes, SE goes to the kitchen and I hear conversation.

"The tea was very good."

"Hehe... ... you had it cold, madam."

"Yes, but I asked for only half a cup."

"Hmmm... hehe... ..."

"Why don't you tell her directly you want more?" I scream from the dining table.

"So good, I should have asked you for more than half a cup."

"hehe... ..."

SE comes out and makes a face at me "It didn't work."

After more quabbling, chatting, and eating, SE leaves for work after lunch.

This is a routine that happens every couple of months. SE and I, part of a much larger group have known each other for 12 years now. But we can never get by without sniggering and screaming at each other every time we meet. By the end of our time together we are abusing each other and promising never to meet again. A promise that is very ill kept.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My 5 weirdies

At the rate I update the blog it's a waste passing on a tag to me. Here I will get on with the first of the two tags. Swathi tagged me into listing 5 weird things about myself and then passing it on to 5 others.

This wouldn't be interesting because all the weird habits or things in this house of two belong to only one person. And that person is not me. Tra la lala la. But I shall honour the tag and seek deep into my perfect self.

1. I always need curtains to be in place. When drawn, there should be equal distance between the loops and pleats. And guess who is always instructed to reach up and arrange everytime.

2. I eat with my left hand. I am never full if I eat with my right hand.

3. I still write old fashioned letters in hand. But strangely I never get down to posting them.

4. I am restless. I get up even in the middle of the night if I remember something like somebody using my bathroom and start cleaning it at that hour.

5. When my 7 month old niece is awake, I put her to sleep. When she is sleeping, I wake her up. (This would fall more under cruelty to infant than being weird, I think.)

Now the list has began, I can actually go on. But will not tag anyone. I will just ask people who are reading to give it a shot. It's a fine exercise, really.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The ice skater

Some time back when there were a lot of people in the house and there was pressure to entertain them in different ways day after day, we ended up scaling new heights.

One afternoon, hubby and I walked into an ice skating rink and waved at our lot of people in the viewers' gallery. The only problem was that before that day, all the skating we had done was of the roller types.

Feet strapped into the heavy skates, standing on the razor like blade itself was an art. A balancing art we tried to master with arms stretched wide and fake smiles plastered on the faces. The audience cheered. Holding on to the walls and then the railing, I walked gingerly into the rink. Hubby waved his arms about and managed to move. Slowly and cautiously I let go of the railing and moved too. "Hey, both of you come over here! I want to get a pic!" said a familiar voice. I didn't look up.

We managed to come closer to the voice and stand next to each other. Photo session over, hubby found some confidence and started moving faster. Soon he was circling the rink and passing me again and again. I noticed while crossing me his arms and legs would swing some more. No longer able to let go of his moment of glory, he called out as he passed me for the 4th time. "Hey, look at me. Watch the master skater!!" And the next moment, thud!! His butt hit the smoking frozen ice hard.

And now as I rub iodex on his tailbone every night, I throw him a little pearl of wisdom which he is not going to forget in a hurry, "Remember darling, pride is always always followed by a great fall."

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Peeping through clouds yesterday

Growling dark clouds were chasing me. I ran as fast as my little legs could manage. The wind surrounded me, fierce and howling. The tall eucalyptus trees lining the road ahead bent over in reverence to a force they could do nothing but obey. Running didn't really require much strength as I was carried along by the wind.

As the grey dullness acquired a darker shade, I clanged the wrought iron gate open and sprinted up the driveway. Finally, home. A heart stopping roar of thunder hit hard and lightning streaked everything menacingly. I saw shattered glass lying about as Ma opened the door a wee bit to let me in. With the storms, windowpanes banged hard and broke regularly.

And then, from the warm and cozy comforts inside, I kneel on a high chair and watch in amazement the fury that unfurls outside. Suddenly it's an anti climax as everything is soothed by rain slashing down hard. Visibility becomes a uniform hazy blur and the rhythmic pouring of rain leaves nothing more to see. I get off my chair and head towards the plate of sizzling fries and hot cakes.

This is how childhood was. But even today whenever the sky turns grey, I unconsciously look for bending trees. I watch the clouds rolling by in wonder. I see the top of the hills disappear in a mist of cloud and prepare myself for deafening thunder. I rush and make myself some coffee to sip with hot samosas. I invite memories of a time lived in a little town with rains throughout the year.

And today, a little bit of childhood did come calling.


Time stopped for me. Life too almost stopped. So much has changed. Yet nothing has changed at all.

Good to get down to blogging again.

All the more since blogspot got banned. Does someone really think that blocking a site can help achieve anything?