Steam Engine banter

Steam Engine (SE) came over to spend the night.

I had SMSed her. "If you don't mind eating leftovers, come over. There's a grand spread."

Suddenly I saw a vision of SE sitting on the floor in front of my cupboard, cruelly pulling out ironed tops and kurtas. Rendering my cupboard unrecognizable.

A hasty SMS followed. "I hope you have a change. My sexy clothes will not fit your oversized bulk."

SE immediately called as expected. "Who are you calling oversized, smartie? I am fitter than you and I am going to wear your clothes to office tomorrow!!"

An hour later, SE stands ourside my door and calls me, "Hey, I am in the wrong place, reached the 8th floor. Which floor are you on?" I open the door and let her in.

"Leave those dirty sandals out."

"You sure? They are really expensive."

"Yes, yes, nobody steals such grimy sandals even if they are reeboks."

"Aaaahhh, I am so tired!!"

"God, you have gotten so fat, SE!"

"Have I now?"

"I notice your weight is always proportionate to your salary... what's that plastic you are dragging?"

"Dirty clothes... last night I spent the night at a colleague's place after finishing work at 2.30am."

"So did you finish your story?"

"No, none of the gigolos were picked up. So we finally went home, tired and sleepy. I am heading for a shower."

"Okay, give me all your dirty clothes... I will put them in the machine. You can iron and wear them to work tomorrow."

SE enters my bedroom and starts stripping.

"Give me a fresh towel. Do you have some good shampoo?"

"Hey, use the other bathroom."

"No, I am fine here."

"Huh! See, you won't be comfortable. It's wet. All our stuff is there."

"Good. Listen I have used this bathroom before. I am okay... wow, my favourite shampoo!"

In the morning, I go to the gym, get back, shower, let in my maid, clean up a bit, read the papers, grill sandwiches, squeeze juice and go to check on SE. She was snoring like a lion. By this time, hubby is showered and ready. And we eat a leisurely breakfast.

"Can you wake her up? I need to work now." (The guest room doubles up as working studio during the day.)

I open her door and holler, "Steam Engine!!! Wake up!! Dont you have to go to work? It's 10 o'clock."

"STEAM ENGINE!!"

"STEAM ENGINE!!!"

"Why you screaming? I am awake."

As SE roams around like a zombie with an iron in her hand and heading for the bathroom door, the maid quips, "I am making tea."

"Half a cup for me too please." requests the hubby.

"What about you SE? You want some tea?"

"No".

"Have some."

"No."

"Are you sure? Don't want a cup?"

"Is she making tea?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Half a cup for me then." Announcing which she goes in for a long bath.

SE is bathed and eating hot grilled sandwiches with lukewarm tea.

"Wow! Lovely! Is there any more tea?"

"No. But she can make you some if you want."

"No. Forget it."

After 5 minutes, SE goes to the kitchen and I hear conversation.

"The tea was very good."

"Hehe... ... you had it cold, madam."

"Yes, but I asked for only half a cup."

"Hmmm... hehe... ..."

"Why don't you tell her directly you want more?" I scream from the dining table.

"So good, I should have asked you for more than half a cup."

"hehe... ..."

SE comes out and makes a face at me "It didn't work."

After more quabbling, chatting, and eating, SE leaves for work after lunch.

This is a routine that happens every couple of months. SE and I, part of a much larger group have known each other for 12 years now. But we can never get by without sniggering and screaming at each other every time we meet. By the end of our time together we are abusing each other and promising never to meet again. A promise that is very ill kept.