At the races
Time is running and I have realised that I am running along. Days, weeks, months and years. The age I am at is an age I termed as 'old' 10 years back. Today I joke about it but it pinches somewhere to hear the same term and I justify it by optimistically terming it 'matured'.
It pinches not because I have less years to live than I had 10 years back. But because in all these years of arriving at self claimed 'maturity', there is nothing else to show. Hubby says there is a lot. I think he believes I have him, what more could I want!
Today I am at an age when I CAN look back. And what do I see?
The last 10-12 years have been a blurry image of me in fast forward mode. Nothing very clear, nothing worth pausing or applauding. It's like a dream fading away and what remains is a blank screen with broken fragments slowly turning to dust. This time in slow motion.
Is it the place? Is it the rat race I am running in? Is it the change in perspective? Is it the change of dreams? Is it the chasing of new dreams?
Now, I intend to find the answers.
It pinches not because I have less years to live than I had 10 years back. But because in all these years of arriving at self claimed 'maturity', there is nothing else to show. Hubby says there is a lot. I think he believes I have him, what more could I want!
Today I am at an age when I CAN look back. And what do I see?
The last 10-12 years have been a blurry image of me in fast forward mode. Nothing very clear, nothing worth pausing or applauding. It's like a dream fading away and what remains is a blank screen with broken fragments slowly turning to dust. This time in slow motion.
Is it the place? Is it the rat race I am running in? Is it the change in perspective? Is it the change of dreams? Is it the chasing of new dreams?
Now, I intend to find the answers.
posted by anumita at 3:44 am
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