Thursday, December 09, 2004

fix to hitch

I am trying to matchmake. Actually two of us are.

A 32 year old colleague and this friend's friend. He's about 40. Both are ready for marriage. They haven't met but have been told of each other. He thinks she might be too young for him! She says age is the least thing on her mind. He could be rejected for a hundred other reasons!

We think it best they should meet. And talk. And know. And see. And maybe decide.

The friend assures the colleague, he's an honest guy and makes 'intelligent conversation'. She said, she's honest too. That's when we tell her go easy on the honest bit... or rather, to be cautious.

I don't think all guys can appreciate honesty. And you never know at the first meeting which ones are these. Sometimes men just have totally different views on things. Their take on relationships, marriage, careers, sex - pre and post marital, can educate an entire nation of 'ignorant women'.

And the most famous of them are the ones with double and triple standards. Where the same rules do not apply.
Like the very common "My ex and I are still very good friends" however "I wouldn't like my wife to meet up her old boyfriend!" And hold it, at times the reason could be "I trust my wife. But I don't trust the guy!" or simply "I am not comfortable."

A friend, a male, once told me, that there is no man in this world who given the opportunity, will not have a one night stand IF, he repeated, IF, he's sure of not being caught. The men who don't agree are simply lying, he said. Though I would love to differ, I can only hope, there is a minuscule number, maybe 00.01% who will hold back, for the love of wives, for the love of girlfriends, for the sake of vows, for the sake of children, for the sake of simply being a strong man of integrity. But like I said, I, and half the world's population, can only hope.

Anyway, I digressed. The other of us who is part of the matchmaking recalled this story. When she was sixteen, growing in a place called Hubli, she had a friend. Really UGLY (her words), fat and sloppy and DUMB. And wonder of wonders, UGLY caught the most eligible hunk around!

While the others, boyfriendless, bitched and burned with jealously, hunk took UGLY for movies and ice cream everyday. And our friend here would be furious as UGLY would lie at home saying she was going out with her.

At 18, everybody went their ways, seeking their fortunes. UGLY was married off. Happily. To somebody the family chose. And UGLY recalling her college days, regaled her husband with tales of movies and ice cream with hunk. That's when the husband turned mad. Beat her up and still beating her, dragged her to Hubli (a good distance from where they lived) and dumped her at her parents!

Of course, after a lot of helpful counselling, they got back together. But there's a moral to this story. And I hope our ready-for-marriage colleague got it!


Blogger poonam said...

beat her up and still beating?! gimme his name and address, i will have the ngo folk take good care of him. ;)
btw, you going for manto-ismat? you should.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Chakra Sampath said...

Sometimes men just have totally different views on things. Their take on relationships, marriage, careers, sex - pre and post marital, can educate an entire nation of 'ignorant women' - Agreed Anumita. Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus. Do you realise that the other way round is true as well. I know for sure that many men have been given a lesson or two of lifetime by the women folk - doesn't matter whether they are ignorant or innocent.

Beat her up and still beating her.. - Brutal! He is not worth living with!

5:43 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Poonam: Sadly, UGLY is still happily married to the brute and has borne him 4-5 children! So I guess we will leave them alone. Yeah, am going for the play next wed.

Chakra Sampath: Agreed. But I am a woman and this is a woman's view. And I have enough reasons to hold my views high. Unfortunately, UGLY doesn't feel the same about living with a wife beater. They live on. Together.

6:08 PM  
Blogger Peeved said...

I don't know what sort of male friends your friend has but the ones I have, have been quite loyal to their respective gfs / wives :D. Leave alone one night stand, some of them (including myself) have given up going to clubs jsut for drinks because their wife/gfs just don't like the fact about what goes on there.
And some of these guys have had one night stands in the past when they were not in relationships so they r not the losers who cant get any action. ;) Plus all of them know of their gfs ex and have always maintained "history is history" and they don't do anything which they think would offend them if their spouse did the same thing.

I agree there are guys who will, just like ur friend says, enjoy one night stand... but then there are girls like that too.. my last gf was.. lets say not a woman of high integrity.. so grass is equally black on both sides of the fence..

so theres lot of hope for u and half of the worlds population because the number of men with integrity is higher than 00.01%.. now its upto them to make the right choice.. you have already made yours :D

9:42 PM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

matchmaking is so much fun !! :)

2:12 PM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

babe am linking you and introducing you in my blog !!

2:22 PM  
Blogger Gautam Ghosh said...

Anumita as in Anumita Singha?

Finally you are blogging ! Didn't realise it from the comment you left on my blog !

3:10 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Peeved: You restore my faith in men. Thanks. Checked your blog. Would like to read you more often. You write well.

Pallavi: Thanks! For each and every comment you left. Am praying for deuta.

Gautam: You should realise 'anumita' is rare!!! Your kid is a prodigy (if you call them that!)... i bet no 5 month old in the world has ever learnt to speak.

6:25 PM  

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