Abstract rant
I must confess that we socialize a fair bit. Some think it's the ideal life to lead. Work hard, party harder. What else could you ask for? Friends with new babies in their lives envy the 'carefree' life we still lead. Others crib about other problems in their lives.
I have my share too. Don't want to digress to those but on the topic of socializing, on the downside, it leaves no room for quality time to ourselves. The conversations with the husband are often over the phone or while driving somewhere together. But we try to multitask, we try to fit everything in its place. I wont deny that the evenings spent with friends are great stressbusters and we look forward to them. So what if we don't get time to do grocery for the week. Yes, time seems to be the precious keyword here. There are things we can do without money but there's nothing we can do without time. That's how indispensable it is! I also know that in the last 7-8 years I have been more busy than any time in my life.
Surprisingly, as most of my posts reveal, I have more memories of the earlier years of my life than the last couple of years. Those were years spent with light hearted laughter and counting every new leaf on a tree and every new rosebud that bloomed. Days of hide and seek, and nights of dark room when parents jested and talked at leisure with other parents.
These are years that have shortened, and left me with too much to do, even to simply just carry on living. Of working manically and partying later to justify the severity. Sometimes there are observations of having too many friends but not recognizing enough relatives. Of not knowing the family well enough.
Maybe I don't. For I don't know the line that divides them. Family and friends. Who can qualify as what. As times passes, I am the only constant factor. People are in my life and out of it. Physically I mean. I am not with the same set of people I was with 20 years ago, or 10 years back. I have loved them and allowed life to change, fondly longing for them again.
But I also know there is no looking back. Today, this is my life, these are my people. They may not all be related by birth or marriage but these are who I share my life with, my dreams with. This is probably where I will one day take my last breath. And these are the very people who will hold my hand then.
I have my share too. Don't want to digress to those but on the topic of socializing, on the downside, it leaves no room for quality time to ourselves. The conversations with the husband are often over the phone or while driving somewhere together. But we try to multitask, we try to fit everything in its place. I wont deny that the evenings spent with friends are great stressbusters and we look forward to them. So what if we don't get time to do grocery for the week. Yes, time seems to be the precious keyword here. There are things we can do without money but there's nothing we can do without time. That's how indispensable it is! I also know that in the last 7-8 years I have been more busy than any time in my life.
Surprisingly, as most of my posts reveal, I have more memories of the earlier years of my life than the last couple of years. Those were years spent with light hearted laughter and counting every new leaf on a tree and every new rosebud that bloomed. Days of hide and seek, and nights of dark room when parents jested and talked at leisure with other parents.
These are years that have shortened, and left me with too much to do, even to simply just carry on living. Of working manically and partying later to justify the severity. Sometimes there are observations of having too many friends but not recognizing enough relatives. Of not knowing the family well enough.
Maybe I don't. For I don't know the line that divides them. Family and friends. Who can qualify as what. As times passes, I am the only constant factor. People are in my life and out of it. Physically I mean. I am not with the same set of people I was with 20 years ago, or 10 years back. I have loved them and allowed life to change, fondly longing for them again.
But I also know there is no looking back. Today, this is my life, these are my people. They may not all be related by birth or marriage but these are who I share my life with, my dreams with. This is probably where I will one day take my last breath. And these are the very people who will hold my hand then.
posted by anumita at 7:19 pm
30 Comments:
i read this a couple of times - still not sure about the abstractness of it.
I agree. My friends are my family. But I find that the family finds it tough to deal with the fact that I believe I have other family. If you know what I mean.
Kahini
yeah...when I come back at 10pm or 11pm, I often wonder if thats the kind of life I want - living only from rare weekend to weekend trying to pack everything inside the weekend. Not socialising means we become extremely nuclear and cut off.
I somehow dont subscribe to the friends vs family thing - I know for sure that 90% of friends I had 10 years back or even 5 years back are not going to be as close in the next few years. With increased mobility, I have to form a new set of friends every 2-3 years...so its only the family that remains constant. Once I realised that, I started making more efforts to get closer to family.
"For I don't know the line that divides them. Family and friends."
-- very well said. And no, although this qualifies as abstract because there aren't any direct references, the theme was concrete enough :)
Very well written Anumita.. esp. the last 2 paragraphs.
Good post indeed...
We all tend to remember those portions of our lives, wherein we were more human - we laughed more, we cried, we felt more...
And then the life changed...
I've tried to absorb a similar theme in my first post, if you get time, have a read...
Anumita,
Beautifully put. I agree with Atul, can't see what's abstract here? It seems like a slice out of my life...
I don't know the line that divides them. Family and friends. Who can qualify as what.
Couldn't have said it better...
-asuph
Dont know whether life will be the same in even 5 years hence....things and situation change as so does people and friends....
Hmmm isnt that a sign of growing in some ways. Our worlds were smaller before and therefore definite memories. Now its just way too vast.
Went through the post couple of times. And imgained you in a window seat somewhere -- ponding, pausing and writing. A little smile left after you finished..
It is such a good feeling reading you.
gaizabonts: Then I must be confused myself :)
kahini: I know what you mean. Exactly.
raccoon: You make sense. What I mean is not the immediate family only... it's the rest I find difficult to keep track of or keep in touch with.
sudipta: I think I am not capable of writing abstract :(
chakra: Thanks :)
dust unsettled: I have read it all and I think you write very well.
asuph: Dont we all in this generation think alike :)
bips: Absolutely. It's unsettling to think like that... somewhere deep inside we still seek comfort in the familiar and the regular.
bluespriite: It is. So right about our worlds being smaller. There was so much security and confidence then.
upsilamba: Actually, was sitting on a stern looking desk, with harsh lights overhead while writing this :) But do dream of a window with a pretty view to sit by and write.
Sounds so familiar!!!
But again, like everbody knows that key lies in 'maintaining balance' but again that easier said than done!
Anyways, it served as timely reminder to me!!
Lovely post - so introspective. It's surprising you have time to realise all these things with your sched!
Like you, I too socialise "a fair bit" and I too have my fair share of problems. Unlike you, I have enough memories of every year (long past & recent years too) to fill 3 blogs.
But time does fly. And with increasing speed so it seems with every passing day.
Makes me think of something that a little girl said to me on a plane recently. Might post.
Dropped in here from Melody's blog.
Very well written post, one that I can relate to as well :)
u coming to dilli, right? am really looking forward to it. I will make a trip to bombay in september.
I miss you a lot.
Oh boy, was like holding a mirror..I guess that's how life's definitions keep changing with every new year/generation..
Beautiful post. Came here through Melody's, and am glad I did..:) Keep writing
Hi Anumita
Stumbled upon your blog quite accidentally and got hooked. Keep writing!
not confused, not abstract - a pithy statement of where we stand. you make meaning :)
Quite emphatic!! :) I came by after what seems ages, and gt to read this fine piece of writing. Thx! How have u been?
I absolutely loved ur posts....some realities of life that will never change.lookin fwd to read some more..
nice!
I know it is tough as I am facing the same thing but it is time for a new post.
I second Arunima!!!
Very well written. I could almost feel your expressions change as your thoughts progressed. Can totally identify with these feelings. Life is never black or white, this or that... It's what makes sense to you at different points in your life.
"Days of hide and seek, and nights of dark room when parents jested and talked at leisure with other parents."
Few can write about nostaligia they way you do.
Heyyy....i know re. This is the second time i am doing this. Came to bombay and didnt call or meet. Lots of things re....maybe will be able to explain if and when i come there again.
bips
You have been
tagged again!
Congratulations! you're a thinking blogger.
I think it does not matter till u can count on ppl u r having good time with..Ur post makes me take soo long to comment as I really need to think what to write lol as every time just writing I loved it sounds so stupid lol..BTW where are u long time no see..Busy with work or travelling somewhere?? Take care
Rant more, lady. Just came by to check...
Stone: You are right. Balance is the key. If only it came easy!
Melody: I cannot even begin to compare myself with you! The amount you do, the amount you write is indeed admirable!
Shriram: Thank you.
Mukta: Miss you too. Come, waiting for you.
sri: Glad you could relate.
Geets: Thanks a ton. Will definitely try to write more.
gaizabonts: Thanks for the assurance :)
velu: Am good. Just too caught up with other things on the comp and blogging suffers!
annie: Thank you. Do you have a blog I can catch up on?
arunima, stone, priyanka: Yesyes.
the cloudcutter: Thanks. You said it much better in these words than I ever could in the long post :)
parmanu: Thank you parmanu. I dont know whether its really a good thing to live so much in the past, even if online...
bips: Try to call at least next time.
asuph: Will get down to it soon. Thanks.
sangita: Write whatever you feel like! Am here. Just getting busy and lazy at the same time. Will be more regular now.
The fact that I so much resonate with what you said and so are many others sometimes makes me feel that we live in a age which is getting so stereotyped and with all the same worries and anxieties and devoid of all the vestiges of verity we used to have. May be it is stigma of man and its place in society that makes us all the same. Nvr mind these stray thoughts, I really enjoy reading your blog.
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