Thursday, July 24, 2008

While you rest... I am restless

First it was Raj. It was the last Wednesday. The feeling was as surreal as they come. Okay I haven't seen him since I was a kid and since I was always left out of most of the games being the youngest. Like when we played hide and seek and dark room, I kept waiting and waiting inside wardrobes and cabinets for someone to come and find me. Nobody did and they went on to the next round without even remembering about me. And when it was time to split, the kids were rounded up by the parents to go home and then I would be found sleeping in a cupboard still hiding.

Raj was much older but then we all grew up.

Then it was S. That was last Saturday. Again unreal, surreal. He lived close by, came home sometimes especially when the old group met up. He and husband go back a long way.

Both young men died in car accidents. Separately.

Now smiling faces haunt me. Times lived and unlived disturb me. There is a thin line between the past and the present. Between what was and what could be. There are stories being shared... bonds being rediscovered. There are promises to meet and plans to follow up. There is a coming together of friends, kept busy by life's vagaries. And then someone said... "We must catch up more often. We were so close... now why does it take a tragedy to get us together?"

Why indeed...

12 Comments:

Blogger Alapana said...

If only i had an answer!

5:42 PM  
OpenID asuph said...

hmmmmmm.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Pallavi said...

Sigh. we are mourning S as well. Its a tragedy it is.. May god rest their souls..

11:34 PM  
Blogger Sonia said...

Make of the best of what little time we have with each other I guess.
I know this is cliched, but I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry for your loss.

9:43 PM  
Blogger Arunima said...

oh! I am so sorry.

11:04 AM  
Blogger srinivas said...

very very sad to read :(

i pray with the almighty for your welfare

sorry! though am unknown to you - am a regular reader of your blog

gurudEva dayaa karo deena jane

9:19 AM  
Blogger Mukta said...

hi anumita,

I'm really sorry for your loss. Was thinking of both of you the other day...

Both of you...come over to Powai some day when you can...was remembering the days when you came over to Pune.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Sangita said...

Am so sorry for your loss..Difficult to come to terms with how someone is there one moment for us and next moment gone..

6:01 PM  
Blogger Mayur Pathak said...

you never know with life...what's next? whatever we have is here and now, this moment, this split second, only this is ours. live and relish it fully... don't leave anything even for the next moment...
probably the only solution is to live as if there is no tomorrow...

12:28 PM  
Blogger Zoya said...

Hi. Dropped in here from Dhoop's blog. Read previous posts too. I am absolutely AMAZED by the number of answers in the "I" tag where you have said exactly what I would !!! So articulately as well.

Here is where you have mirrored my thoughts and feelings :)
I am: realistically optimistic
I think: often of all the people who have touched my life and gone...
I know: a lot of things instinctively
I want: to die before all my loved ones
I have: realised happiness is a state of mind, for that matter most feelings are...
I search: for the girl I was, for the woman I wanted to be
I wonder: about how people would react when I die
I love: travelling to unknown unseen places, and coming back home
I care: much about saving trees, water, energy, food
I am not: as unapproachable or as unfriendly as people think me to be
I believe: I can change things
I dance: in spirit and how!
I don’t always: feel like meeting people or even talking
I fight: when I am wronged or I see someone helpless being wronged
I lose: my patience with certain people
I always: wondered what the future had in store for me... with whom... where...
I need: my space
I am happy about: the people and all that I have in my life

These are nearly half the entries. Isn't it uncanny ?

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

alapana: ... and we keep trying..

asuph: hmmm

pallavi: God bless.

sonia: You are right. I say that all the time but somehow death still manages to blow us away.

arunima: I am too.

srinivas: Thanks.

mukta: When do we come to Powai?

sangita: Loss is inevitable but we are never prepared.

mayur: Absolutely but like I said death can be really cruel and affect us bad.

zoya: Yes :) Soul sisters?

anumita

9:15 PM  
Blogger Renu said...

So poignant!Thats why it is said that always express ur love for ur loved ones, never wait.me thinks..live evryday as if it is ur last one on this earth.

10:04 AM  

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