Friday, August 12, 2005

vibrator anyone?

Today I was a woman possessed. I headed determinedly, to the nearest gym, not really the best, but good enough. Very practical reason for choice, since I just need to take the elevator and go down and there it is, right in my complex. Besides, it's not really burning a hole in my empty pocket. I haven't paid yet. "Try it today", I was told.

I landed at 'Ladies Timing'. Yes there is such a thing, when women of all sizes descend upon a poor little instructor, woman of course, and challenge all the mean machines to hold them up. Today, in all I saw 3 women. One struggling to tie shoe laces, another cycling leisurely like it's a joyride, I thought a song on her lips would complete the picture (hum hai raahi pyaar ke would compliment her nodding head best) and the third woman smiled at me and left.

And after a long gap of almost 2 years I felt that ting in my body which is so refreshing, so invigorating. The strain, the stretch, the pain. It's all pure pleasure.

But what I had never encountered before was the vibrator, a scary machine with a wide belt hanging. I was skeptical about allowing myself to be 'vibrated'. A little coaxing was all it required and the next moment, every bit of fat in my middle jiggled violently. It was moved to my stomach and my poor tummy was almost spilling itself out. Oh my god, I gasped. All wild thoughts raced through my mind. I grinned at my martini-shaken sight in the mirror. Far from orgasmic.

"Cut out sweets and oil. Tomorrow we'll make your diet chart." I thanked and left.

God, lead me not into temptation and help me find my way to the gym again tomorrow.

45 Comments:

Blogger Atul Sabnis said...

I'd rather succumb to temptation.

:-))

All the best!

12:10 AM  
Blogger boabhan sith said...

LOL

That sounds great!

12:32 AM  
Blogger n.g. said...

you have a gym in yur complex? fancy. there are two gyms in powai, each lousier than the other. and since i dont live in a hiranandani bldg i cant use the hiranandani gyms. so basically all attempt at being healthy is annuled if youre in powai.

1:23 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Go! Go!...YOu don't go the next day, you'll NEVER go!

Forget the vibrator...it's useless. (That kind)

Hee Hee

1:50 AM  
Blogger Parna said...

lol to the vibrator.

and yes! go the next day. Do Not look for excuses. they are just that- Excuses. and yes, vibrators are generally useless. try the sauna instead.

3:06 AM  
Blogger Arundhati said...

Yaikes!

4:54 AM  
Anonymous Ash said...

Anumita, good for you ! Now make sure you get back !! :)

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Pixel8 said...

is it the kind utpal dutt uses in golmaal? :)

11:16 AM  
Blogger WA said...

Hahaha LOL. Never seen this vibrator though, but sounds hilarious and probably useless :)

1:29 PM  
Blogger Akruti said...

Hmm,Now you are making me think seriously abt this Gym issue,i promise i will try to join,But when??? Errrr,sure i will think abt it tomorrow:)

1:18 AM  
Blogger johnny boy said...

Hi... My first time here... Great post - hilarious !! :-)
"every bit of fat in my middle jiggled violently" -> lol, u have a sense of humor aight !
Jus wanted to share somethin, me been gymming for a long time now, but i really do agree with some of ur readers, that vibrators aint too good. Nothin like physical exercises, like side stretches, and jogging etc. Vibrators do not serve the purpose. If all u want is a nice jiggle, find a way to a dance floor ;-) kidddinnngg

12:02 PM  
Blogger Rash said...

Since am trying to force myself to go walking twice a day without much success, please visit regularly and be inspiration.
and loved gabby's helpful note in brackets :)

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Kahini said...

Deeply impressed that you went. Plots and plans the same thing, but can't wake up early enuf. Sigh.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

That was really funny! Drag yourself to the gym, and I am sure once you are there you will not regret the decision. BTW, try singing "Baba, man ki aankhen khol" while on the vibrator... that will complete the picture ;)

12:51 PM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

err.. the title of your post is highly misleading ;).. and the vibrator that jiggles your fat.. been there, done that and left it also :p :)

4:36 PM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

Pixel8 - exactly :)!

4:37 PM  
Blogger gulnaz said...

lol, i have seen the contraption and have seen ladies swear by it to my bewilderement. i have seen some women bang their butts into the wall, i thought they were really stressed out but was told they were 'reducing' their butts. myths, myths, myths! :)
am gong to go exercise tonight reading this.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Nupur said...

LOL!!
I have heard about it and one of my aunts used to send her chubby daughter to be vibrated when she was like 13 becuase she was well... very very chubby!! :)

You let us know if its any good! :P

LOL@Gulnaz about banging butts on the wall! I have heard about that too...and some say that it does work!

8:33 AM  
Blogger Gangadhar said...

lol!!

11:12 AM  
Anonymous Chandrika said...

Glad you are finally getting into it! Good for you. When I saw the title, I had such wicked thoughts ;)
Hey...let me know when you are online. Had left you a message. :)

1:40 PM  
Anonymous sherriff said...

Vibrator...lol...gave me all sort of wrong ideas...hi hi...visiting ur blog for the first time...and man u hav a sense of humour...btw i also started going to gym around 4-5 months back and hav already lost around 7-8 kgs...and no more acidity prob..no more backaches...i hope that wud be enuf motivation for u to continue going to gym

1:47 PM  
Blogger Kapil said...

Let's make it simple for you to be there the next day:

Mom's yoga @ 5AM

OR

A free-time elevator ride to the GYM!

7:38 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

atul: Me too! But the results haven't been too flattering.

boabhan: Does it? It really isn't, believe me.

nish: Gym in complex has hardly motivated me to run down and join in. So you see, it's not where you live. Basically stop looking for excuses like me. :)

gratis, parna: I know, I know! I think you are right about the vibrator. Useless!

arundhati: right. yikes!

pixel: now how did I forget that? *rushing to look for golmaal dvd*

wicked angel: It's not as scary to look at than what it's actually capable of!

akruti: please join immediately so we can compare notes.

johnny boy: Welcome! And going by your blog, I realised, here's a hard core gym-er (is there such a word?) Please send some inspiration my way.

ash: Thank you, ash, I got to go everyday, right.

rash: Okay, let me try, at least verbally. Psyche yourself to a point that unless you take that walk, you would be miserable.

kahini: Thank you. Some back patting is in order.

sudipto: You think I can remember to sing anything while trying to stop my intestines from spilling out?

twilight fairy: so you think it's useless? can spare myself the stupid jiggling then.

gulnaz: Now this is something new, butt bashing! The sight must be hilarious!

nupur: I think working yourself is always more useful than anything else working for you. But butt banging could help :)

gangadhar: Please laugh a little less and pray a little more for me. :)

chandrika: Yes, yes, trying. Erratically online. Your phone back now?

sheriff: Welcome and thank you for the range of motivating factors.

kapil: Elevator any day! Thank you for making it so clear!

10:27 AM  
Blogger Rat said...

How is the vibrator thing supposed to help by the way ? Ive always been curious.

10:59 AM  
Blogger boabhan sith said...

I cried today after dropping my daughter off at school. I'm PMSing on top of everything so it's been an explosion of emotions which is why I've posted so much.

I'll be better tomorrow. My daughter loved the school thing.

11:07 AM  
Blogger hope and love said...

that was very funny..! i visit the gym regularly..
the vibrator is not of much use..

1:39 PM  
Blogger Arun said...

isnt the vibrator good enuff a temptation? ;D (you can take it w/ or w/o the pun...hehe!)
first timer here...'orgasmic' title. In case u r wondering, yup, i am a perv!

PS: Go for an organic diet. It does help.

1:44 PM  
Blogger AmitKen said...

LOL !!!
that was funny..

All the best!

:o)

6:59 PM  
Blogger alpha said...

is that the one i see old women using in the movies? Ok, that should give you some inspiration!

8:36 AM  
Blogger Stone said...

Useless I say!!!
Try something else...like playin sports or 20mins brisk walking!!

10:29 AM  
Anonymous sherriff said...

read ur previous posts today...boss unwell so had a lot of time...and i read and read and read ..it was a roaller coster ride for me emotionally...some of the post made me laugh (my colleague in the next cubicle must be probably thinking i have gone mad) and some of them made me really sad

5:50 PM  
Blogger Truth Fairy said...

Lol! Fitness and diet fads are so overrated!! Where are the good old days of walking and jogging in a park near your house or even doing yoga at home? Gone are the days of drinking water or even squeezing orange juice at home or eating home made food. Now's the age for Tropicana and Pasta and Pizza and Burgers and greasy Chinese food! It's sad how we are succumbing to the fast food junkets. No wonder young people are putting on weight!Why do we always end up taking the worst from the West?? Everybody knows McDonald's and Pizza Hut are the 2 most important reasons for America's obesity problems and we Indians think it's cool! Sigh!!

Don't get sucked into the fads. Maintain a healthy life style and see the results for yourself! :-)

6:57 PM  
Blogger johnny boy said...

gym-er -> i dont think therz such a word.. :-)
Anyway, whats more inpiration, than a look into ur mirror ? :-)
U jus start going for a few days, force urself, and i am sure you'll feel so good about urself that you will carry on without any problems from that point on!

12:49 AM  
Blogger GettingThere said...

Vibrator? Heh. Got a little confused there. Then I read the post and have been chuckling ever since :P

Vibrator is no good for losing weight. Weight loss is a simple equation. Calories spent > (greater than) Calories consumed => Weight loss. But it is easier said than done actually - I have first hand experience.

Also, DO NOT starve yourself. If you do, your body goes into survival mode and spends even less calories (i.e. slow metabolism) To give a kickstart to your metabloism, eat 4-5 small meals (keyword being "small :P) AND exercise regularly.

I guess that should be enough. Ever notice how a mere mention of weight loss efforts brings on LOADS of advice from well meaning people? :D

3:11 AM  
Blogger Atul Sabnis said...

long time no blog - busy @ the gym?

3:28 AM  
Blogger anumita said...

rat: All I know it makes you realise the meaning of vibrator. Like how some things can never be defined, they have to be experienced.

boabhan sith: I am sure Adara is enjoying school. I know it must be tough for you to see her on her own (in school). Post some school pics?

hope n love: Somehow I always knew you were the disciplined type and would be going to the gym regularly. Inspire me please when I feel too lazy.

arun: Welcome. Once you know me better, you would know what kinds tempt me. Organic diet? Hehehe! All I look for is lots of yummy food as inspiration.

amitken: Thank you and please dont laugh.

alpha: If they are fit old women I dont mind, actually.

stone: Please dont dissaude. There's nobody to play with. And I walk on the treadmill. Better than just thinking and doing nothing, right?

sheriff: I thought I was the only one who dug into archives and read and read. Glad someone's reading mine too. Thank you :)

truth fairy: Welcome. The good old days are long gone. Where food is concerned, eating pizza, pastas and burgers is a matter of taste, not fad. If people didn't like they wouldn't pay and eat. We still have vadas, pokaras, chats, dosas, parathas which are equally hazardous.
But you are right. All said and done, a healthy lifestyle is the key.

johnny boy: I know what you mean. Am trying to make it everyday. The instructor is impressed already! Lot of stamina he says. Am not so old, i wanted to say.

gettingthere: Isnt it a great title to get people here? Okay am hanging on to all your advice, and believe me I really appreciate you telling me to eat 4-5 meals a day :)

atul sabnis: updating. updating. *huffing and puffing*!

2:27 PM  
Blogger afp763389 said...

... :(

3:11 PM  
Blogger Raccoon said...

Please, oh please do not use that belted contraption - in a gym in a small town that I grew up in, I was witness to a very bad accident a middle-aged man had on it - I dont remember specifics but i remember him lying on the floor and then people talking of internal bleeding.

though umm...keep up the gymming!!!!yayy for a healthier generation:)

7:15 AM  
Blogger anumita said...

pranav: You scared me now. I ll make sure someone's around when I use it next.

7:28 PM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

haha i used that once.. it was funny... lol I got a abdomen vibrator from assam... beat that :) hahahah given forcefully to me by ma... SIGH

9:55 AM  
Blogger anumita said...

Ouch! What's that for? Tummy trimming? I ll get one too if it helps.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Hirdu said...

:)

10:37 AM  
Blogger Joe Muka said...

I was looking for ideas for my site and found your site...good job.
My site is about weight loss diet plan and other free diet stuff. thanks for some good ideas

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i gotta see an aunty using a vibrator lol no pun intended

11:56 AM  
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4:54 PM  

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